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redqueenmeg , you are so gonna love this.  I love it.  I love the Huffington post.  I love Chris Kelly.  He just gets it.

From The Huffington Post: 

I'm Falling in Love with Sarah Palin's Story

I think politicians' families are totally off limits. Children are meant to be seen and not heard about. The second they finish the People magazine photo spread, that's it. Mum's the word. Or grand mum. Or whatever Sarah Palin is.

The Palin Family is private. That's why Sarah Palin never, ever mentions her son in the army. Except for eleven lines into the first speech she ever gave as the nominee.

 "Our oldest son, Track, though, he'll be following the presidential campaign from afar. On September 11th of last year, our son enlisted in the United States Army. Track now serves in an infantry brigade. And on September 11th, Track will deploy to Iraq in the service of his country. And Todd and I are so proud of him and of all the fine men and women serving the country in uniform."

Except for his name, rank, serial number, when he enlisted and where he's being deployed, not another word.

I also think big families like the Palins are great. Hitler was the fourth child in a run of eight, and Pat Buchanan says he grew up to be "an individual of great courage, a soldier's soldier in the Great War (and) a political organizer of the first rank." And Sarah Palin used to wear a Pat Buchanan For President button, so it's all cool. We're all on the same page there.

And the Palins might seem kind of embarrassing right now, with the domestic abuse and the snowmobiles and shotgun weddings, but they could turn out to be an American dynasty. You know, like the Snopes.

They're good country people. They might be just the breath of fresh air a state funeral needs.

But their family is their business. Except the one (9/11) in the army (9/11). It's all personal and private, and we have to back off, because treating Sarah Palin the same way we'd treat a male politician is sexist. Or something. We should judge her on her positions, if we knew what they were, and her achievements, if she had any.

Here's where I get off board with Sarah Palin's privacy: The baby blanket.

Sarah Palin could have left the kids at home when John McCain called her to Dayton to be his vice president. (It can't be cheap to buy fifteen plane tickets on three minutes notice.) But she couldn't leave them at home, of course. Her family was the whole point.

So what to do about the pregnant, ashamed teenager?

Not John McCain's problem. Get her on the stage.

How do we cover her up? I've got it! We'll make her carry the Down syndrome baby! And a blanket! (Put on this black dress, it's slimming. And we'll have it taken in for the funeral.) Look:



Look at her face. My heart breaks for this young woman, and I think I've made it pretty clear that I'm an asshole.

You'd have to be the worst parent on earth to do that to your daughter to get a job.



( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 3rd, 2008 01:23 am (UTC)
Very clever. Enjoyed it much, J!
Sep. 3rd, 2008 01:27 am (UTC)
Wish I'd written it, I just copied and pasted. I would have thought it was a joke without the photos. Who the heck carries a baby in that position and spreads a big honking blanket over their entire midsection?

Every woman I ever knew who carried a baby held them over their shoulder, with a small burp cloth to protect against spit up or with her elbows out and the baby cradled.

Is it even safe to put a baby that small against your chest, facing a blanket?

Edited at 2008-09-03 01:27 am (UTC)
Sep. 3rd, 2008 01:30 am (UTC)
Got me but it looks to be a decidedly uncomfortable way in which to carry baby. I'm surprised these photos were still out there in internetland - didn't I read all family photos had been pulled pending official approval by Governor Palin?
Sep. 3rd, 2008 04:41 am (UTC)
These were on the Huffington Post. I can't imagine that once pictures are out there on the web, you can pull them back. I mean, I saved them from Huff Post on my hard drive. Should I expect a knock on my door from the GOP asking to delete them?
Sep. 3rd, 2008 11:01 am (UTC)
I think you're safe!
Sep. 3rd, 2008 02:37 am (UTC)
Thanks for posting this. Bristol's situation is incredibly sad. Not only is she having to learn at a very young age about self-sacrifice for one's own children, she is having to learn at a very young age that sometimes one's own parents demand a great deal of self-sacrifice as well.
Sep. 3rd, 2008 02:44 am (UTC)
Oh yeah, not to mention having to marry that Myspace douchebag who's said he doesn't want kids.
Sep. 3rd, 2008 02:54 am (UTC)
Marrying a bro is a fate worse than death.
Sep. 3rd, 2008 05:32 am (UTC)
But he's "sex on skates!!!"
Sep. 3rd, 2008 04:44 am (UTC)
I feel bad for her too. I'm sure she didn't ask for this scrutiny. As if being pregnant at 17 isn't hard enough, throw an ambitious mama into the mix and a political machine that you can't say no to. I can't imagine her stress right now.

Still, I believe that the media had every right to report on this. You can't hold Sarah up as a shining beacon of conservative family values without checking the closets for skeletons and it seems like that's exactly what they did. More and more stories coming out of the woodwork.
Sep. 3rd, 2008 11:53 am (UTC)
No, of course the media had a right to report on it. The way to avoid so much national scrutiny would have been for Palin to refuse the nomination, but she couldn't do that and remain true to her crazy-eyed self.
Sep. 3rd, 2008 03:13 am (UTC)
Don't you just love how Fox News and all the Republican analysts are blowing this stuff off as irrelevant when you know darn well that if this was the daughter of a Democratic candidate they would be ripping into them for "not teaching their children morals".

Sep. 3rd, 2008 05:33 am (UTC)
They're jumping all over the "how come it's okay to pick on the Palin kids and there was no scrutiny on Obama's daughters?"

Well, because neither of Obama's daughters are pregnant! He didn't try to hide anything!
Sep. 3rd, 2008 11:53 am (UTC)
Besides, McCain himself can provide plenty of nasty comments about Obama's daughters when he feels like it. We all know what he said about Chelsea.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )