June 25th, 2009

Umbrella Love


Dear Kenny,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our socks don't match. I think I realized it when I quoted Forrest Gump in a clown suit and I saw you bite off the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're masochistic enough to understand the middle east is planning revenge on you. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard and I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon.

With tears of sadness,

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