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Still a fangirl geek at 31....

I am squeeing with delight this morning upon finding one of my favoritest people right here on LJ and apparently, she's been here for awhile.

This requires a bit of exposition, I guess.

Back in the early 90s I had quite a large obsession with The Doors and Jim Morrison.  Maria and I shared this obsession, pouring over every drop of music.  We wanted more and more information.  We saw Oliver Stone's movie.  We read the biographies.  One summer we went through our well worn copies of No One Here Gets Out Alive and made a list of all the books and authors mentioned as having interested Jim.  We read Nietzsche, Ferlinghetti, Kerouac.  All sorts of philosophers and poets.  We spent a lot of time at the library and on Maria's bed discussing the heavy material we'd tried to wade through. 

Based on information in the movie and NOHGOA we shared an intense distaste for Patricia Kennealy.  If you've seen the movie, she's the rock journalist who married Jim in a handfasting ceremony.  I carried that negative impression with me for a few years, letting it simmer in the back of my mind and not really thinking about it as I started college.

Right before the end of junior year at Northwestern, I was celebrating my tax refund.  A little extra cash in my pocket meant I could go to Barnes and Noble and buy some books from the discount racks and lose myself in a world that didn't include monkeys, news writing or whatever other classes I was taking at the time.  I had sixty or so dollars to spend, which meant, if I was lucky, three books.

I found two vampire novels, I don't even remember what they were.  The last book, I grabbed without looking at the title or the author.  I picked it up because it had cool jacket art by someone whose name I can't remember right now.   It wasn't until I was back at my dorm room that I saw the author was Patricia Kennealy-Morrison. I was fuming.  I threw the book across the room.  I read the two vampire novels first and then started The Hedge of Mists

It was amazing.  I flew threw it in a matter of hours and then started over to really absorb the words.  I wonder if I still have it around somewhere in one of my boxes of books?   I don't remember if there was a section at the end of the book about the author but I wanted more information about her.  Anyway, it was the dawn of the world wide web and I thought I'd see if there was anything out there about Mrs. Morrison. 

Through her publishing company and a few other links, I stumbled on her personal web page.  It had information about her series of books, The Keltiad-- an Arthurian/Celtic/Fantasy/Sci-Fi thing that defies explanation but is wonderfully readable.  And there was an FAQ about her life with Jim, people's perceptions about their relationship, and her life now.  I spent hours reading everything that was there.  I came away with the realization that I'd been duped about her.  She wasn't a cookie-cutter-rock-writer-bitch, the way she'd been portrayed in the movie, a woman looking to "trap" her lover with an unwanted pregnancy, a witch because it seemed cool or a generic groupie star fucker.  The woman in the book and from the web page was smart and sarcastic and caustic in that cool, educated-opinion kind of way.  I wanted to hang out with her over an Italian soda and a scone.  I wanted to cleanse myself of that feeling that I hatred someone wrongly.

There was a "contact me" button, so I sent her an email.  I started it "Dear Mrs. Morrison-- a week ago, I would never have referred to you that way..."  I told her the story I wrote about here, sent it off and promptly got absorbed into finals and packing up the room to move out for the summer.   I was elbow deep in cardboard boxes one night a week or so later when the phone rang.  Being a Wednesday night and expecting a call from my mom, I answered.

IT WAS HER!  I thought it was some kind of a joke, except that I hadn't told anyone of what I'd done!  My phone wasn't charged and wasn't holding a charge because I'd dropped it off the top bunk one too many times.  I managed to talk to her for a few minutes before the call dropped.   SHE CALLED BACK.  I remember being so star struck, so in awe that I was talking to someone who was married to Jim Morrison.  I'm getting all bouncy now, thinking back on the conversation. 

Yesterday I was doing some stupid survey on Myspace, trying to fill my afternoon, and it asked something about favorite artists... and I was trying to remember the name of the guy whose book jacket art made me buy that book so many years ago.  I was reminded of PKM and googled her.  YAY!  She has a blog!  She has an LJ blog!  I friended her.  I read back several pages.  I'll probably read all that's there over the course of the summer.  I am happy.



( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 29th, 2007 07:55 am (UTC)
THAT is a cool story!

But more importantly... sweet fancy MOSES Jules!!! Could we POSSIBLY have anymore things in common??????? I swear we were truly separated at birth, I now no longer have a single doubt about it.

Was it 1990-1991 when you and Maria were obsessed? Because that's when on the West Coast, in Arizona, there were two 7th graders named Lydia & Jacque who were doing the EXACT SAME THINGS you wrote about. Every one of them right down to hating Patricia and reading Kerouac! I'm not even joking. Every night I slept under a tapestry of Jim Morrison that hung from my ceiling. I have a shoebox still to this day full of every old news article, picture, memorabilia I could find on the Doors. We watched the movie over and over... being that we were so close to L.A. and Venice Beach we went to the same places he lived and went and talked to people who'd known him. The only thing you have done that we didn't is talked to Patricia. OMG I'm starstruck! That is incredible! I never read anything to get over my dislike of her, but in growing up I just realized it was probably wrong and that what I'd heard couldn't all be true and so I just dropped it a long time ago. Wow. Just... wow.

Juli, I'm serious now. You MUST come out to L.A. Does she live here? Maybe we could go see her together! :)

Love you <3

(p.s. and you used the word "caustic". You my friend, rock.) :)
Jul. 1st, 2007 05:26 pm (UTC)
Nice to see you "grew up" and stopped hating me. I think.

Frankly, I'm really curious to know why you might imagine I'd ever want to meet anyone who hated me and didn't really "get over" disliking me for no reason except gullibility and misinformation and willful ignorance...If you really wanted to get over it, all you had to do was read my memoir "Strange Days: My Life With and Without Jim Morrison." Or have you?

There are millions of people who saw and read the same stuff you did, and not only didn't they hate and dislike me, but they saw through to the truth and believed me and supported me. And I'm friends with some of them to this day. (I like smart people, as did Jim...he married me, after all, not some moron airhead...)

It amazes me how hurtful people can be out of pure spite and sheeplike go-along-with-the-crowdness and pig ignorance, and never bothering to find out anything about the very real person they're doing all this to.

So maybe you've gotten over your dislike of me, but...[/"caustic"]
Jul. 1st, 2007 03:27 am (UTC)
Always gladdens my heart to see the scales fall from people's eyes...Oliver et al. still have a lot to answer for, especially the damage they did to my beloved husband. Oh, yeah, to me too, of course.

I'm a little concerned about this Contact Me button you mention, though. Since I very much doubt I had one, mostly because I was damn sick and tired of being unjustly and hurtfully trashed by people like your former self. I do indeed phone readers on a regular basis, or write them...less now than formerly, but still. You say you found it on the old Lizard Queen website? Then I have to say no, there's some mistake. I specifically never had one there and in fact went to great lengths to be as inaccessible as possible to Doorzoids, Pamheads and other hateful individuals. With, as we see, good cause.

I'll have to check with my website commander. But I really, really doubt it.

Anyway, whomever you spoke to, I'm glad she changed your mind about me the way my books did. It's just that I do---and I don't think I can be blamed for this, I'm only human, after all---cotton just a bit more to the people who were smart enough and savvy enough and perceptive enough to see through the anti-Patricia crap in the first place.

But I hope you will enjoy the blog, and appreciate the announcement of my new series.

Oh, that artist? Thomas Canty. You can buy prints...
Jul. 2nd, 2007 03:56 pm (UTC)
Alas, as the email in question occurred between nine and 10 years ago, what I've typed here is all I can recall. I don't remember exactly how I sent an email, only that I did.

The woman on the phone, who I've never really doubted *was* you, based on the voice and content of the conversation wasn't what changed my mind- it was the web site, it's FAQ and the other research I did.

As far as seeing through the crap to begin with, I think perhaps you expect a little too much of a 13-year-old girl who was in love with the music. I'd hope you might be a little happy that your husband's music-- the legacy he left behind-- still spoke to someone twenty years after his death.

I've read other interviews you've given and your blog and I don't understand the level of vitriol for people who admire Jim, enjoy the music and/or the legendary quality of his short life.

It's been a long time since my obsession with knowing everything about Mr. Morrison kind of fell by the wayside. I don't consider myself a Doorzoid or a groupie wannabe. I loved the music. I loved the poetic quality of the lyrics. I have to ask, why did he become a rock star (or Rock God!) if it wasn't to achieve immortality through the music? He lived larger than life, ballsy, full of energy, fearlessly. I think that's something to admire. I don't applaud the drinking problem or the recreational drugs, but it was the way of the times. Anyway, he died at 27 years of age, 36 years ago, and is still relevant today. That's amazing. Why take fault with the people who want to know more? People like me who weren't born until years after he was gone? I'd have liked to have been privvy to the truth, but I absorbed the information that was available to me. When the movie was released and The Doors were introduced to the people of my generation, we looked to the resources that were there. NOHGOA and, I think, the Densmore book. Strange Days hadn't been published yet. The World Wide Web wasn't prevalent. I don't think it's fair to blame those who could only get information from the people talking the loudest.

Why'd it take you so long to put your story out there? Will Fireheart (was that the title?) ever see the light of day?

I am psyched to read the new series, and thank you for reminding me of Mr. Canty's name.
Jul. 6th, 2007 05:06 pm (UTC)
The vitriol is reserved solely for parasites and cannibals and soulsuckers and morons who attach themselves to Jim like bottomfeeders, not for genuine and respectful fans. I'd hoped people could understand this, but apparently they just don't get it. As you've just now proved...

Listen. You're not the one who has suffered for thirty-six years from the attacks, hatefulness and spite campaigns launched by clueless maggots who are utterly ignorant of the truth and don't seem to want to learn. You BET I'm hostile. But only to them. To people who approach in the right spirit, I am nothing but grateful and respectful in return.

And no, that doesn't mean suckups. As I've said, I hate suckups. I'm just sick and tired of people using Jim as some kind of template on which to project all their little longings, fantasies and whatnot. And I'm not going to hold back when I think they deserve a smack upside the head.

I've had letters from ten-year-olds who totally got it, so I don't think that expecting an obviously intelligent thirteen-year-old to understand is pushing it.

Everything I do or am is in service of my Jim. He might wish I'd chill out a bit, but sorry, honey, that's not going to happen. If that service includes taking people to task because they didn't respect boundaries...like your pal above...then that's how it is. When you've been in my position...oh, why do I even bother? I'm sorry I didn't measure up to your little fantasy standards of how I should or should not behave. Well, I'm not at all sorry really.

And I still say that if you claim you reached me through a website button, you didn't reach me at all.

Nice try on the MySpace page, but no thanks.
Jul. 6th, 2007 05:35 pm (UTC)
... talk about not getting it. Quite the contrary, you lived up to exactly how I expected and hoped you would behave. You have had my respect and admiration for a decade-- for your strength, character and work. Still can't wait to read the new series.

Alas, I'm just disappointed that what was a truly good memory is tainted.

The end.
Jul. 6th, 2007 06:22 pm (UTC)
How does flipping out on a private LiveJournal serve your Jim?
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )