I've been feeling really busy lately. I had two crops last week and took Joey to get his picture taken.

Yesterday I went to a PTA meeting in the evening.

Today, I have a doctor's appointment at 4. I should also go to Panera and get bread for Thanksgiving. I'll just stick it in the freezer until next week.

Tomorrow I have to go pick up Andy's fundraiser merchandise at the school.

I believe that on Friday my sister, and perhaps my mom, are coming out for the day. I think we're going to go to Shady Maple for lunch. Then the boys are sleeping over my mom's this weekend.

On Saturday, I have more PTA stuff-- preparing gifts to sell at the school's "Santa House," and then hopefully Wayne and I will go see New Moon on Saturday night.

On Sunday, we're going to our first Falcons game in two years-- this time against the Giants at Giants Stadium in New Jersey.

Next week I have Andy's Parent/Teacher Conference and volunteering at the school book fair on Tuesday. Also have to pick up Lexi and Nathan for the holiday.

On Wednesday morning Steve will come pick up the boys to take them to Pittsburgh for the holiday. I will be doing whatever early prep work I can for Thursday, when I'll be cooking at my Aunt Anne's house. Whatever I can do ahead of time makes things much easier.

Thursday morning-- early-- we're out to Jersey. After that, I don't know yet.

Like I said: busy, busy, busy.

Arrrghhh!

I swear there are like 20 things going on this week or this weekend.  Most weeks I'm scrounging for something to do.  This week, on Thursday, there's a Weight Management Support Group meeting and my mom's group's monthly Mom's Night Out.   Ironic that those two things should be scheduled the same night.  

On Friday, there was a mom's group Mom's Night In that I had planned to go to but it was cancelled.  There's also an "Evening With Edward" Twilight screening and cocktail party at another mom friend's house and three separate scrapbooking events.  If I go out Friday at all, it will be to the vampire event but I think three nights out in a row may be too much to ask of Wayne.

Saturday is the actual date of the crop that I thought was last Saturday.  I can't go this week because I committed to attending a different crop, headed up by my friend Joanne, who is also my Creative Memories consultant.  The  mom's group is also having a lunch get together that afternoon. 

Arrrgghh!  Why can't stuff be more spread out???? 

It feels like it's been raining here for weeks!  I can't take these gray miserable days cooped up in the house. 

The boys were/are sick-- just like me and Wayne.  They coughing is horrible but at least my nose is free and clear again.  Both boys have had slight fevers but no other flu symptoms.  Too many people I know right now have H1N1 and it's freaking me out.  It doesn't help that I've been eyeball deep in zombies lately-- things like I am Legend full of "infected humans."  I keep thinking about Stephen King's The Stand and how most of the human populace was wiped out by a super flu.  I'm so optimistic and full of sunshine, aren't I? 

Tomorrow is supposed to be trick or treat night here.  I really don't understand the whole idea of scheduling trick or treating on a day that isn't Halloween and for only two hours.  On a work/school night.  When Halloween is on a Saturday.  Pennsylvania is so weird.  I'm sure it has some kind of bizarre religious reasoning behind it.  Can you feel my rolling my eyes? I still don't have costumes or candy for the munchkins either.  Joey wants to be a ghost and that's easy enough.  Andy wants to be Lightning McQueen.  Of course, when I asked him a month ago, he said it was okay for me to give his LMQ costume to one of my friends.  Now, he'll hear nothing of being something else.  So I am in a bit of a bind.

Saturday, they'll be at Steve's for trick-or-treating there.

I'm tired and feeling down because of the weather.  It's tough to get motivated for anything.  

The past few days, I've been working on making ornaments for the Christmas tree at Andy's school.  I have a Cricut cartridge with script school subjects and icons.  I've been cutting them out and mounting them on a white background then totally glittering the word.  They're cute on the table.  I hope they look cute as an ornament.   I need to go over to the school and straighten the tree out.  It is looking a little bent and beat up in the storage space.

Bleh.

Oh the grossness that was me on Saturday.  Wayne too.  

We attended the first annual Zombie Walk in Harrisburg along with 250 or so other people.  I fully believe that had it not been a rainy, gray day there would have been more zombies.  

The preparations began the night before by zombifying our clothes.  I took an old bridesmaid's dress out of the back of my closet and "distressed" it.  Wayne destroyed some scrubs that we had from the school where we used to work.  We cut stuff, rubbed scissors along cuffs, sprayed the clothes with paint and water (for a nifty moldy effect), threw blood on them and literally dragged them through the mud.  

On Saturday morning we had to go to Wayne's parents' house first to pick up an old dresser they were giving us.  It was getting pretty late so I started doing my latex prothetic pieces in the car.  I had to spread the liquid latex on my face and then lay tissue over it to build up the layers to create realistic looking wounds.  Then the latex has to cure before you can makeup over it.  I was getting many interesting looks from the people driving on the road next to us.  Hee hee.  For the walk, I did a big gash from each side of my mouth and a little slash on my forehead.  
We met Niki and drove over to her friend Mel's house in Harrisburg and I did Wayne's makeup there but he was sweaty and had gotten a little rained on so I had a really hard time getting the latex to stick to him.  In the end, the uncured latex looked remarkably like decaying flesh so that was a good thing.   Once we were all zombified, we walked over to City Island and did the walk around town.  

It was a very, very cool thing.  There were tons of people with cameras- both still and video--all over.  People were laughing and having a good time watching all of these bizarre people lumbering around the city.  There were far too many cries of "BRAINS!" going on though.  Zombies don't talk! My only disappointment was that there was not a single Michael Jackson zombie.  

( Clicky, clicky for gross pictures )

Friday I got to do a little bit of socializing with some of the people I work with on Friday.  There was this "mandatory" seminar thing with the guy who wrote one of the books we use.  Wayne got out of going because he had to watch the kids. The other female teacher in my department was away on vacation.  The crotchety old evening teacher who never has anything nice to say doesn't go to anything in the day time.  So from my department, it was my boss, two of the other instructors that I like and me.  We also had the Director of Education (my boss's boss) at our table.  Despite the touchy-feely nature of the seminar (it focused on stress management) I had a really good time.  It was nice to be able to dress down and have time to talk about other things beside students and their issues.

Wayne and I took all four kids to the Philly Zoo on Saturday.  We had tickets I bought last year with the mom's group and they were about to expire.  I was nervous about having all four in a crowded place and managing to have a good time but we did!  The kids all stayed together and we oohed and ahhed over the animals with minimal hassle and yelling.  The only problem was tired kids and a lot of sun. 

The week has been pretty crazy.  We had to bring two cars to school on Monday because I (grumble grumble grumble) said that I'd cover someone's evening classes.  One of the med teachers who is nice to me said that I was her last hope for going on vacation because no one else would cover these two evening classes.  I had vowed never to deal with night classes but I thought it would be one of those demonstrations of goodwill and pitching in to help so I said yes.  It was torture trying to entertain myself for 5 hours in the mostly empty school on Monday night. I have to do it again tonight for an hour but since I don't normally teach on Thursdays this term, I'm going in just for the class.

It's Fourth of July weeekend. I was trying to explain to Andy that the 4th is our country's birthday and that this year our country is going to be 233 years old and that every year we celebrate with barbecues and fireworks.  He seemed excited.  Andy loves a good birthday party. He wanted to know if we'd have cake.  We're going to Wayne's parents for the day.  I hope they have cake.  Maybe I'll make some patriotic cupcakes? 

I have been staring at the computer screen for too long tonight and yet, I can't stop myself from wasting hours playing stupid games on Facebook.  It's a freaking curse.

I made myself a couple of mini Cuban sandwiches for dinner around 9 and I'm hungry again now.  There's a tiny bit of leftover coconut flan from the party I could polish off.  I'd feel guilty for 15 minutes but it's so good and unless i eat it, it will go in the trash.

The boys got home pretty early tonight.  I was so excited to see them.  That effectively ended my housework and chores for the evening.  I sat on the couch and watched Special Agent Oso with Joey.  It's their new favorite show and it's based on James Bond movies.  Each 15 minute sub-episode has a title that's a parody of a 007 movie.  

Three Wheels are not Enough

Dr.  On

Carousel Royale

It cracks me up.  And when all the kids are here and they're watching the show, they sing along with the show.  I really need to have my video camera handy tomorrow to record it for posterity.

In that line of thinking.  I also need to record Andy reading/performing Where the Wild Things Are at bedtime.   It's precious.
 

Miss my boys and can't wait until they get home tonight.

Stayed up too late last night and as a result I rolled out of bed at 11 am today. 

Bunch of stuff I need to accomplish:

1. Grading school work.  I am behind.  Need to log my grades in the online system I use to calculate the weighted stuff.

2. Put the plants that were started in my aerogarden into their appropriate outdoor containers.

3.  Laundry. Always laundry.  DOING

4. Pull winter clothes from Andy & Joey's dressers.  See what wardrobe adjustments need to be made for warmer weather.

5.  Water change and algae scrape of the fish tanks. DONE

6.  Water houseplants. DONE

7.  Change and wash all the sheets in  the house. DONE (but still have to re-make all the beds) 

I really need to start eating in the morning before I leave the house.  I am so hungry.

My class just ordered three pizzas and unfortunately since I don't often carry cash, I can't go in. 

Wonder what I should make for dinner tonight.

Monday: Laundry.  The monster is raging again!

Tuesday, Wednesday : Cleaning.  See Friday and Saturday.

Thursday:  Kid shuffle.  Lots of driving.  

Friday: Scrapbook Viewing Get Together for the scrapbooking group I coordinate on Meetup.  Rather than getting together to work on scrapbooks, we're going to bring competed work and do the whole "ooh and ah" thing.  Means a lot of housework for me because I'm hosting but that's fine.  Will also need something to drink and some hors d'oeurves.

Saturday: Lexi's Birthday Tea Party.  I'm psyched for this because I want to make it very schamncy and girly.  She plays tea party with her grandmother but it's with a plastic toy tea set and fake food.  I am planning finger sandwiches and scones and punch.  Should be a good time.  I can plan more this week and really finish off the plans.

Sunday: RELAX!  But, but, but, I need to start prepping page kits for my mom's group's big crop on the 25th.  I don't want to haul all my stuff with me so I like to match papers to pictures and cut the titles on my Cricut and bag them up in 2-gallon size ziplocks.  (Perfect size for 12x12 papers!)

THURSDAY:
Boring faculty meeting at work about the school's accreditation visit that starts tomorrow.  I would very much like to have the woman who gave the presentation in my Microsoft Office class to teach her to to properly use PowerPoint.  Massive driving picking up and dropping off kids.  Met Steve at Chick-fil-a to exchange boys.  Nathan ran out into the parking lot and scared Wayne senseless.  Went to Target to get the kids' Easter outfits and the Twilight DVD.  :) 

FRIDAY:
Cleaning.  Home. Nothing too crazy.

SATURDAY: 
Woke up and straightened up the house.  Wayne's ex picked up his kids, late as usual.  Showered, dressed and made up to go pick up the boys at Steve's place and met his girlfriend, Tammy, who is very nice.  I think things will be okay there.  Took the boys out to NJ to hang with my parentals.  Had Spanish BBQ and my favorite cake, a belated birthday thing.  Drove home.

SUNDAY: 
Joey tripped and fell into a door jamb in the hallway, creating a large egg and a weird blood blister on the left side of his forehead.  Thinking of Natasha Richardson, I panic.  He's fine.  Spent most of the day going between cleaning stuff and vegging. Played some Guitar Hero.  I need to finish editing my NYC pictures.

TODAY:
Class starts at 11.  I need to get my lesson plan together for today and then come up with lesson plans for the rest of the week.  Need to go put on my makeup and get some more coffee.   I have two hours to get to that.  After school today I have to pack the boys up and make sure they are as clean as can be and well groomed.  Steve is picking them up tomorrow to take them to Pittsburgh to visit with his mother for the rest of the week.  I need to make and deliver dinner for my friend, Megan, who has a baby a week ago, Jaxon John.  I also need to pick up my Creative Memories order from my friend, Lisa.

Never a dull moment around here.

I need to start getting my butt to bed earlier.  I spent a huge chunk of my evening last night preparing the test I'm giving my class today.  Class is 3 hours and is supposed to start at 10.  The students are having a guest speaker (the county coroner) come in to talk to them at 10 and it's estimated he'll take an hour and a half.  I hope he's feeling chatty because the test is all I have for them today.  It's a 50 question multiple choice and it's open book.  Hopefully, using the book will slow them down.

I am tired.

Andy is having a hard time at school-- again and still.  Last week was good but this week Joey started there and I have to wonder if that change isn't screwing with his behavior.  As long as I get bad reports from the school-- he's screaming, not cooperating, whatever, he gets no time on the computer at night.  I don't really know what else to do but to keep reinforcing that he needs to listen to his teachers and not scream at them.
Advice?

Joey is doing well.  They're trying to potty train him, hard core style.  They asked us to put him in underpants and bring in extra sets of pants.  I am all for them doing the work on this one.  Wayne ran out last night and bought underwear for my little guy.  He's getting so big so quickly!  He's developing quite the sense of humor.  I love it.

What else is up?  I am tired. Did I mention that? 

ZZZZZZZzzzzzz

Earthquake in Lancaster County felt in parts of Berks County

Kindall L. Wann had just settled on his recliner and started a movie in his Womelsdorf home early Saturday morning when the house shook.  Wann, a Womelsdorf firefighter, suspected a nearby car crash, but the cause actually was about 40 miles away.  An earthquake northwest of the city of Lancaster shook the region shortly after midnight, prompting calls and questions to emergency dispatchers in Lancaster and Berks counties.

Wann's house shook for a few seconds, and it was over.  "It was very minor, but you knew it was something," Wann said.

The earthquake was nothing like two that shook Berks County in 1994, Wann said.  Those measured 4.0 and 4.6 on the Richter scale and were centered near Wyomissing Hills.  Wann lived in Sinking Spring at the time. He recalls plants and plates falling off tables in his house.

The U.S. Geological Survey measured Saturday's earthquake at magnitude 3.4. Emergency officials said it caused no damage or injuries.  It was centered about two miles north of Landisville, about 2.5 miles below ground, the U.S. Geological Survey said.

Lancaster County dispatchers received more than 1,000 calls reporting the earthquake. Berks County dispatchers said they got about 30 calls, mostly from an area stretching from Bern to South Heidelberg townships.

John Bruchak was watching television about five minutes after midnight when he felt a strange vibration in his home at the Beverly Hills Mobile Home Park in South Heidelberg Township.

Bruchak said the quake felt like a gust of wind, except that it rumbled.  He went outside to look for damage. Finding none, he called 9-1-1 to report the tremor.  "It was kind of a wavy feeling," Bruchak said. "It was strange. I didn't know what it was."

___________________________________________________________________________

Wayne and I had just gone to bed and were watching TV.  The whole house shook and I thought that it meant Nathan or Lexi had fallen out of bed or something large in the house had fallen over.  I was really confused.  Wayne went out to the living room to look around and everything was fine.  It never occurred to us that it was an EARTHQUAKE!!!! 

I'm an earthquake survivor!

The center was only about 2 miles southwest of us. 

I dropped the boys off to Steve on Thursday night and sat in his living room while he decorated my former tree with my former ornaments.  I was a little saddened to see the boys' first Christmas ornaments go up.  Things between Steve and I are okay, not good, not horrible and I expect that as time goes on it will get easier to be around each other without that dull ache in the background flavoring every interaction.  We worked out the holiday schedule with no clashes.  Everything just seemed to fall into place and I am extremely grateful for that. 
( Read more... )

Thursday night was kid drop off and that went smoothly but I had to get to Stacy's house for "Mom's Night In" where we had a Christmas ornament exchange.  Had a blast chatting with my girls and left waaaay too late.

Friday during the day, Wayne and I hung the Christmas lights outside.  We went to the Christmas light display at Grings Mill in Reading with Lexi and Nathan.  It was kinda small but the kids liked it.  They got to see Santa Claus.  After that, we stopped at Lowe's because we were short a couple of strands of lights.  There wasn't a whole lot left there but what they had was all 50% off, so we got the strands of lights, a tree for the front porch, a stuffed Mickey Mouse that sings "Deck the Halls," and a goofy hat.  I love the hat.

Saturday morning, Lexi and Nathan were picked up from our house at 10.  Wayne and I finished hanging the Christmas lights and it was COLD.  Saturday afternoon was the mom's group's Christmas party.  I'd been asked to take pictures and for some reason or another I agreed to go to a kids' party without any kids.  I must be insane.  That ate up pretty much all of our day.  We came home and chilled for a little bit before crashing out.

We were up at 5 am and out of the house by 5:30 to pick up the boys from Steve, on the way to my parents' house in Jersey.  While we were there, a house on the next block burned pretty badly.  The street was filled with black smoke and there were fire trucks everywhere. It was surreal.  

The Porn Myth
By Naomi Wolf

At a benefit the other night, I saw Andrea Dworkin, the anti-porn activist most famous in the eighties for her conviction that opening the floodgates of pornography would lead men to see real women in sexually debased ways. If we did not limit pornography, she argued—before Internet technology made that prospect a technical impossibility—most men would come to objectify women as they objectified porn stars, and treat them accordingly. In a kind of domino theory, she predicted, rape and other kinds of sexual mayhem would surely follow.

The feminist warrior looked gentle and almost frail. The world she had, Cassandra-like, warned us about so passionately was truly here: Porn is, as David Amsden says, the “wallpaper” of our lives now. So was she right or wrong?

She was right about the warning, wrong about the outcome. As she foretold, pornography did breach the dike that separated a marginal, adult, private pursuit from the mainstream public arena. The whole world, post-Internet, did become pornographized. Young men and women are indeed being taught what sex is, how it looks, what its etiquette and expectations are, by pornographic training—and this is having a huge effect on how they interact.

( Real women are just bad porn )
__________________________________________________________________________________________

I've believed this theory to be true for quite some time.  It's strange that things have worked this way in American society when I've seen the opposite in Europe.  

Over the summers I spent in Spain, I noticed that there's no distinction as there is here, between beaches and nude beaches.  In the small town where my father grew up, there's just beaches and women (including my aunts, to my horror) would sunbathe topless.  There was nudity on television.  

Sex didn't have the same puritanical taboo on it that we have/had here. 

So why hasn't "porn creep" affected us in the same way?  I think that capitalism may have something to do with it. 

When the porn industry started to boom in the seventies with Deep Throat, Behind the Green Door and The Devil in Miss Jones, a need for constant one-upmanship started.  Americans love to push envelopes.  Each successive year in pornography had to push new buttons, go further, be raunchier, be dirtier, do more, and it sold.  First in theaters, then on video tape and now directly into their bedrooms on the Internet.  People want to make money, other people want to see the latest and worst and will pay for it.

America's obsession with sex stands in stark contrast to the religious right, who seem to think sex is okay only missionary and only when it's breeding more little fundamentalists.  Still there are too many stories of molesting priests and pastors caught at the strip club or short stay motel with strippers.

I was reading another article in New York Magazine and it discussed how even strip clubs are passe in favor of Internet porn.  Men really are choosing the made-up fake women on their screens over real, flesh and blood women, even the ones who offer the fantast up wholesale, live and sweaty, in their faces. 

It's both fascinating and sad.

 

Spent Wednesday and Thursday night in Jersey with my family.  Wayne and I slept in my sister's old room.  It was very strange and very sad to not have the boys with me.  I did get to spend some quality time with my Foobie playing Guitar Hero. 

Friday morning we left Newark and went to Ikea for their opening and got a set of bunk beds for Joey and Nathan.  Joey loves it.  He's such a little monkey, I'm not concerned about the climbing at all.   When he saw it on Saturday night in his room, his eyes got really big and he ran to the ladder to climb up.  He said, "I high, Mommy!" and laughed.  Andy was excited and said, "There's one for each of us," and I had to explain that his bed is in his room. 


I took photos, of course.  Need to edit and upload. 

Friday we also went to Toys R Us and got some good Christmas gifts for the kids.  We focusing on imaginative play and games this year.  NO ELECTRONICS!  I need to order the cardboard blocks from Lillian Vernon that I have been psyched for all year.  From there we drove home to Reading and stopped at the VFO Outlets and got Andy, Joey and Nathan's Christmas outfits at the Osh Kosh outlet.  They didn't have anything for Lexi.  The boys are wearing casual Navy blue with accents in beige and green.  For Lexi, I'd like a navy blue corderoy miniskirt and a beige sweater.  With any luck, a beige sweater with a navy blue snowflake on it.  (If anyone has seen one...let me know!)  I also was able to find some new bras for myself (3) and some new tops.

We stopped at Michael's to see if their $30 Cricut cartridges were any of the ones I want and alas, no.

Once at home, Wayne started putting the bed together and I sort of vegged out reading Twilight for the third time.  

Saturday morning, after poking around the house a bit, we went out to the Christmas tree farm and got our tree.  This year we got a white pine, the kind with the long, softer needles.  I love that they cut it down for us, so we know it's fresh and won't get all ugly before the holiday.  Wayne struggled with it,  putting it into the stand and straightening it with minimal help from me.  We had them cut the bottom row of branches off and that resulted in a tree that has a longer bare trunk than usual.  It looks a little odd, but I don't want to fuss with it.  There's plenty of room for presents underneath!  

We spent the day cleaning and prepping for my crop yesterday.  The house looked fabulous.  I think once the tree is trimmed (it's standing next to me naked.  The tree is naked.  Not me.  Just saying...) I'll do a video tour of the house.   We had swedish meatballs for dinner, courtesy of Ikea and just as I started cleaning the fish tank, the boys arrived.  I missed them SO MUCH.  I couldn't wait to smoosh them.  Nothing really seems right when they're apart from me.

My boys were very good yesterday, up until dinner time.  By then they were getting a little manic and crazy.  Joey was over-tired.  I'm guessing nap and bedtimes were a little askew on their trip.  

Have you ever wondered what half a cow's worth of meat looked like?  I had it on my kitchen table last night.  Don't worry, it's all wrapped in paper and stuff.


( There's no question of 'where's the beef--here it is )

So here's how it played out.  Half a cow, a little less than $2 per pound, hanging weight, cost $549 plus tax.  The total was $584 and change.  That's before they trim off the fat and remove bones and stuff.  Here's what we loaded into the freezer last night: 

2 rump roasts
6 T-bone steaks (2 in a wrapped package) 
6 Porterhouse steaks (2 in a wrapped package)
6 pkgs short ribs
15 chuck roasts
12 round steaks
1 flank steak
2 brisket roasts
8 sirloin steak pkgs (these are sized and shaped like a full rack of pork ribs) 
4 pkgs soup bones
1 arm roast
9 Rib steaks (you know, like prime rib, 2 per pkg) -- we're having a couple of these for dinner tonight!
9 pkgs of stew beef cubes
68 pounds of hamburger
2 skirt steaks

A recent post over at Jezebel says that a study was done and overweight women have more, or the most, sex.  Duh, I could have told you that.

The story over at UPI, where Jezebel actually drew their information actually reads: "Overweight women are more likely to report having sex with men than women considered to be of "normal weight," U.S. researchers said."

Kinda two different things, right?

I can only speak from my own experiences with weight issues and men.

First of all, in sorting through my old photos (and scanning and posting them), I can see clearly that I haven't always been fat.  In some pictures, I could clearly stand to eat a cheeseburger or two.  Still, as far back as I can remember, my mother has been concerned with my weight and led me to believe that I was overweight and needed to diet.  I can't remember a time when I felt satisfied about the way I looked.

I remember getting a bathing suit before I went to Spain for the summer after seventh grade.  It was one of those weird two piece things that was connected at the sides so technically it was one piece but there was lots of bare belly skin.  I was standing in front of the mirror in my bedroom and noted happily that my belly didn't stick out but was horrified to see that if I stood with my feet shoulder width apart, my thighs touched each other at the top.

If I stand with my feet shoulder width apart now, my thighs touch practically down to my knees.  

I believe that by harping on a young girls' weight, by focusing on it intently and drawing comparisons, nitpicking every little perceived flaw, we make her think there's something wrong, when really there isn't.  In my own case, being told all the time that I needed to lose weight, that I was too fat, that there was something wrong with me, it became one of those self-fulfilling prophecies.  

Here I am at 32, obese for awhile, and sex has never been a problem.  I've never been without a boyfriend/partner since I lost my virginity as a teenager so it just can't be about fat.  

I'd like to think that I'm intelligent and fun to be around.  I have a pretty face, I think.  I'm confident to a point, at least to outsiders.  Does that override the muffin top?  I'm sure big boobs help.  I'm sure that even though I'm queen sized, things still sort of balance out to be the correct silhouette.  But the attraction between men and women has got to be about more than appearance.

Attraction is subjective.  I know thin, beautiful women who can't seem to get a date, let alone a partner.  I know overweight women, like myself, who are happily partnered and always have been.  I am more than the number on my bathroom scale and I hope that the men I've been with would agree with me.  

I used to have a Nike ad that I clipped out of a magazine when I was in high school.  I laminated it and had it on my door all through college. I think I memorized it.  I said something like this: 



If Nike, an athletic shoe company, can question our societal perceptions of beauty, then why is it so far fetched to think that individuals do the same? Why was there a need for a study to see whether or not fat women get laid?  Why are the researchers so shocked at the answer?  Why does it need to be spun like some big, shocking revelation?  I've lived it!  I know that there are men who prefer softness over bones and a roundness to the body.  I know men like big breasts.  I know lots of men who prefer them to be real rather than a consumer product.

I guess I am angry at this report even though it validates my experiences and life.

It just dawned on me that this is the last weekend we'll have all four kids for a long time.  Steve's schedule shifts this week so that he's off on Fridays and Saturdays.  So we've been trying to have lots of fun activities to do together.  

Yesterday, in the early afternoon, we had a little fire going in the yard and we made s'mores.  I took pictures. 

After dinner I made a batch of instant vanilla pudding, separated it into four cups and added food coloring.  VOILA!  Instant fingerpaints!  In the end, they were just shoving it in their mouths.  I took pictures. 

Today for lunch, we're making our own pizzas.  Wayne is gathering the ingredients together.  I will take pictures.

Hopefully, despite having the kids here this week, I'm hoping to steam clean the living room carpet because it sooo desperately needs it.

Also, much scrapping to do.  I think I've finished my sister's wedding album and I'm coming into the homestretch on Joey's First Year album and my Las Vegas trip book (which happened when Andy was an infant!)  Also, will be sending out cards this week that I promised to people and listing stuff on my new Etsy shop including handstamped and painted Christmas tags and note pads.

It's Tuesday and the boys are with their dad.  Wayne is working from home.  We slept until almost 10.  My scrapbooking stuff is set up in the living room.  We're planning to steam clean/shampoo the carpets later.  There is absolutely nothing going on but reading political news and getting angry.  Pennsylvania doesn't allow early voting.  I guess the bean counter people are enjoying being a swing state with a lot of electoral votes and they don't want to give anything away too early.  Gotta keep all the players here as if the rallies change anyone's mind.  

I feel myself becoming jaded and it makes me sadder.

Went to Costco last night and got my pictures printed to wrap up Joey's first year scrapbook.  Yes, he will be three in four months.  I'm a bit behind.  I think I've finished my sister's wedding album.  She'll have been married for three years in July.  I have a list of my creative projects on my desk's corkboard and there are 12 items on it.  

Facebook is sucking way too much of my time.  Who knew that browsing through pages of virtual buttons could be so entertaining?

I need to upload and edit the pictures from the Halloween Party on Saturday.

The boys are great... Andy's reading skills are incredible but I'm not surprised since I was reading real books before I got to kindergarten too.  Joey's personality is so effing adorable.  Yesterday I sent him back to the bedroom to tell Wayne to hurry up.  Apparently, he ran into the room, stopping short with his feet spread wide, threw out his open palmed hand and said "Stop Wayne!"  

After Costco, we went to Melting Pot for a belated birthday dinner for Wayne.  The new Big Night Out is amazing.

...and I certainly have.  So here I am, feeling a little uneasy about my plans for the weekend.  I'm elbow deep in laundry so I can pack to head off to Evanston, Illinois, for my ten-year college reunion.  I also have to pack for the boys' four days with my mother.

I have no idea what to wear to the class party at someplace called "Landmark Bar and Grill" in downtown Chicago.  I looked at the website and it looks kinda fancy-ish.  I have never been into clothes or fashion and being so overweight certainly limits my options.  My wallet does the rest of the limiting, so I am clueless.  What's appropriate? 

Many of my classmates have incredibly successful careers and I'm three years deep into stay-at-home mommyhood.  Normally, this stuff is only a slight twinge of insecurity niggling at the back of my brain.  Going out to NU and mingling again with these people I shared classrooms with a decade ago is making me feel less and less good about myself.  It's like my own, private Romy and Michelle. I promise to refrain from taking credit for inventing post-its.  I think we had them already when I was there anyway. 

I hate this.  I think the only parts I'm still looking forward to is hanging out with the people I still count among my friends and the football game.

Tuesday morning I woke up knowing I was going to do something fun and interesting and after an hour or so of debate and planning, Wayne and I got in the car and headed for Gettysburg.   I'd previously been to the outlet mall there.  I'd driven past on the highway, but never explored the historical town or the battlefield.  I knew it is considered the most haunted place in America.

( A Day in Gettysburg )
Union casualties were 23,055 (3,155 killed, 14,531 wounded, 5,369 captured or missing). Confederate casualties are more difficult to estimate but a document put together in 2005 estimate 23,231 (4,708 killed, 12,693 wounded, 5,830 captured or missing). The casualties for both sides during the entire campaign were 57,225. There was one documented civilian death during the battle: Jennie Wade, 20 years old, was shot by a stray bullet that passed through her kitchen in town while she was making bread.

Nearly 8,000 men-- a term I used loosely as the South had some enlisted boys as young as twelve years old-- had been killed outright; these bodies were left lying where they fell, in the hot summer sun.  Over 3,000 horse carcasses were burned in a series of piles south of town; townsfolk became violently ill from the stench. In the evening of July 3, 1863 there were torrential rains in Gettysburg.  The rain washed bodies into the creek.  The people of Gettysburg became ill because of the blood and decaying bodies polluted their water supplies. The ravages of war would still be evident in Gettysburg more than four months later when, on November 19, the Soldiers' National Cemetery was dedicated. During this ceremony, President Abraham Lincoln with his Gettysburg Address and re-dedicated the Union to the war effort.

Today, Gettysburg is a strange town.  It is a modern and normal city, filled with people going about their day-to-day lives in 2008, seemingly oblivious to the history and magnitude of where they live.  There are fast food restaurants and internet cafes.  It's difficult to find a parking spot.  Then there's the ghoulish side of things-- two groups of people trying to capitalize on the history.  The first cater to the Civil War Buffs, the re-enactors, school groups, etc.  There's a US Park Service-run museum and visitor center that just moved to a brand new building on the edge of the battlefield.  There's a Hall of Presidents, presumably with wax replicas.  There are numerous old-time photographers, tee shirt and souvenir stores, bus tours of the area and hotels.  The other group of entrepreneurs focus on Gettysburg's reputation as the most haunted place in America and there are literally, at least, ten different companies offering "ghost tours."  I can think of three different "authors" who sell multiple volumes of slim folded "books" full of ghost stories about Gettysburg. The paranormal trade is as big as the historical, though that wasn't always the case.

While we were there, there were film crews at the monument to PA soldiers setting up lighting for a huge event this Friday when the Travel Channel's show Most Haunted will be doing a seven-hour live broadcast from Gettysburg.

We started at the Visitors Center and Museum but didn't really do anything there except grab a map. The battlefield area is something like 6000 acres and my recollection of how the battle played out was kind of rusty but I knew of the names of a few locations I wanted to see, Devil's Den, Triangular Field, the "High Water Mark."  

We followed the route of the car tour through the fields and took a good deal of photos.  The battlefield area isn't just a flat field, it's a hilly mountainous area rife with huge rocks.  There are densely wooded areas with big red and white signs prohibiting "relic hunting."  Strangest of all, to me, is that hundreds of marble monuments dot the area-- not all in neat little rows either.  Some are deep in the woods, some in the middle of fields. 

In the parking area next to Devil's Den we saw something absolutely horrific that disgusted the both of us...

  



Ugh... really, I can't believe you'd advertise an attitude like that.

We climbed up the rocks and walked over and around them.  We stared across the valley, the area known as "the Slaughter Pen" toward Little Round Top.  The strangest thing about being on the battlefield is how quiet it is there.  There were other people roaming over the rocks with us and walking around.  There were no animal or bug sounds, only an occasional call of a bird.  People seem to be fairly respectful and quiet.  The only human noise while we were at Devil's Den was a woman a little older than me yelling at her little girl of about 5 or so how cool it was to be there and to be careful. It was jarring and out of place.  We also stopped at the Wheat Field and then headed over to the National Cemetery where President Abraham Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address.   We walked among the sweeping curves along the ground that mark the graves. 

From there we went to dinner in the historic Dobbin House, built in 1776, the oldest standing structure in Gettysburg. It was the first stop on the Underground Railroad north of the Mason-Dixon Line. Like all other buildings in Gettysburg, it served as a field hospital and morgue during and after the battle.  The Dobbin House restaurant is fancier than our grubby jeans would allow, so we ate at the Springhouse Tavern, located in the basement of the house, lit entirely by candlelight.  It was tasty and cute. 

We had some time before our ghost tour started at 7:30 so we walked a little on Steinwehr Avenue.  We popped into Kilwin's Chocolate and Fudge and sampled some of their toffee popcorn and bought some turtles. 

The ghost tour was fun but a little light on content and high on the cheesiness.

From there we went back to the battlefield.  In the dark.  Alone.  It was creepy and eerie and strange.  Then we drove home.  Pictures to follow

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I promised glass_lion  that I'd do this ages ago and never got around to it.  I spent all day yesterday going through photos and scanning them.  So for your amusement, and without further ado...




I am born bald.  It takes a while for my hair to come in.  My mother sticks bows to my head with scotch tape so people will know I am a girl.


( The next couple of decades )

It was a pretty low-key weekend here in PA. 

Thursday night was my monthly mom's crop and I wasn't organized enough to have actual scrapbooking ready to go so I grabbed my scraps and spent the evening making cards, something I haven't done in awhile.

Friday was a sloppy, muddy rainy mess. Early in the day, the boyd and I played some Guitar Hero.  Andy has been watching the tutorials in the game and now he actually gets it.  He's playing pretty well.  When Joey was going down for his nap Wayne pulled out my table and I sat and finished my cards, did some organizing, scanned stuff.  

Saturday was the 2nd Annual End of Summer Potluck with the MOB group so I spent the early part of the day shopping and preparing what I was assigned to bring (fruit tray) and then watched the Wildcats stomp all over the SIU Salukis.  What the hell is a Saluki?  Anyway, the Cats won 33-7 and I was a very happy girl.  The boys had a blast running around at the picnic.  Wayne and I got to socialize with other adults.  Totally a win-win in every regard and the rain held off until we were all packing up to go.  

When we got home, we were both exhausted and falling asleep on the couch, until qwe moved into the bedroom where this bizarre second wind came over me and I ended up watching parts 1 & 2 of the pilot of Lost until 3 am.  Now I'm hooked and need to see them ALL.  I knew this would happen.

Yesterday we took the boys to Sesame Place so they could go to Steve's.  The boys were being so cute in the swim area that we always go to.  They'd circle the pool area and then come jump on my lap and give me hugs and kisses.  My babies are so sweet.  We left fairly early in hopes that Wayne could hear the first half of the Falcons game and catch the second half on Sunday Ticket but the Falcons were getting beaten up and we were hungry, so we ended up stopping at Chilis for dinner.  

At home it was Feasting on Waves and True Blood before bedtime.