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Blue.

Had a dream about returning to Northwestern for homecoming involving a lot of old friends I haven't heard from in a million years.  I woke up feeling a little adrift.  I'm sure it had something to do with seeing a post from an old college friend on Facebook yesterday, talking about being all excited to see her friends at the reunion this weekend. 

I went to my reunion last year and only one of my old friends made any effort to see me.  It makes me really sad and kind of like I failed at friendship. I can very clearly see all of the things I did wrong to get to this point but there's no going back and no way to fix it.  

I hope this depression doesn't eat my whole day. 

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
goldfish_totem
Oct. 4th, 2009 03:29 am (UTC)
I am sorry you're feeling a bit down. I doubt however that you "failed" at friendship! You are such a kind person and I'm sure you've been a great friend to your old college friends.
purplejuli
Oct. 6th, 2009 02:30 am (UTC)
I think I was... I was dismissed officially via email by my roommate. It still kills me every time I think about it because she seriously misunderstood something I wrote on a message board as having something to do with her when it didn't.

At the end of college I was all gung ho about moving in with my boyfriend in Virginia so I missed out on a lot of stuff, including keeping in touch with the people I cared about.
purplejuli
Oct. 6th, 2009 02:30 am (UTC)
I think I was... I was dismissed officially via email by my roommate. It still kills me every time I think about it because she seriously misunderstood something I wrote on a message board as having something to do with her when it didn't.

At the end of college I was all gung ho about moving in with my boyfriend in Virginia so I missed out on a lot of stuff, including keeping in touch with the people I cared about.
mazey_daze
Oct. 4th, 2009 01:28 pm (UTC)
Failing at friendship in the past doesn't bear any weight on how awesome you are today. :o)
purplejuli
Oct. 6th, 2009 02:31 am (UTC)
Well thank you!!!!
dallyonlj
Oct. 5th, 2009 08:28 pm (UTC)
It's so hard how old friendships fall away through the years. I so on FB my old high school friends all got together for one of their 40th birthdays. I'm not really in touch with them, except for FB I guess, so it's weird to have a window onto their world together.

But I don't mean to make this about me. I just understand.
purplejuli
Oct. 6th, 2009 02:32 am (UTC)
Yeah, I get that a lot too. Many of the people in my old group of college friends still get together and do things and I get to see/read about it on Facebook and then I get depressed because you can't really get that closeness back, you know?
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )