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Joe the Intellectual

by Ian Gurvitz


I am a college educated, white collar worker. I live in a major American city and I love my country. Not that empty-headed, flag-waving, drop a tear during the national anthem love, but the more profound love that is based in the knowledge that, despite the abuses of power to which it often succumbs, Democracy is the one form of government that leads to the greatest good for the greatest number.

I also understand that democracy is a political system and capitalism is an economic system and while they tend to work well together, giving health care to all Americans, or lowering the taxes of less fortunate Americans, doesn't turn us socialist. It turns us compassionate. It turns us American.

I know that John McCain is waging a dishonest, dishonorable campaign, and that his pet demigoguette is not fit to give eye tests at the Anchorage DMV, let alone inherit the Oval Office. She speaks in sound bytes -- talking loud, saying nothing. I take as an intellectual affront the McCain campaign's attempt to trick the public with faux outrage over one fake issue after another. His phony high dudgeon is painfully transparent. But I know that he has no cards left to play, no strategy left to employ other than to fire up the baser emotions of the idiot vote. The morons at his rallies holding Osama Bin Lyin' signs, and shouting "traitor" at the mention of Obama's name, do not understand that the volume of their voices is inversely proportional to the subtlety of their thinking.

But the McCain campaign knows that they only need to fool some of these people some of the time; in fact, just about the amount of time it takes to pull a voting lever. Because these are not people who think or analyze. They are people who demonize. Too stupid to appreciate the confluence of factors that contribute to a political, social, or economic problem, they can be lead by a lone maniac's invective against a personified root cause. They are at home in a black and white world of good guys and bad guys. Angels and devils. Us and them.

But that is not my world. I am too smart to be fooled or frightened into giving you my vote. I will not be lead around by fear or negative emotions. I am liberal. I am smart. I am cultured. And you, Senator McCain are about to feel the righteous indignation of the thinking class.

So fuck you and the MILF.

I am Joe the intellectual.